***NOTE*** The Marcus in this encounter is NOT Marcus Foster. It’s just a random guy with the same name.
It’s common knowledge around here that Rob is our Oprah. When he reads something, we wanna check it out. Talks about a movie, we rent it. Mentions musicians, we add them to our playlist. Etc etc. In the interview above, the last thing Rob mentions is a recommendation for a CD as a gift. He says his friend, Johnny Flynn’s album, A Larum.
Fast forward to now and I was finally able to see Johnny live. The times I tried before, I found out too late and tickets sold out. Not this time! My friend, Deb, gave me the heads up way in advance. Johnny wasn’t scheduled to go on until late and it was Friday night in Hollywood so I went to a bar with my two partners in crime, C and M. I got a tad intoxicated to put it nicely. A lot of beer. Feeling pretty good. We settled our tab and headed to the venue. We were a little late so we hung out towards the back. Rob and Kristen were together against the venue wall, in with the crowd. Visible. Laughing. Drinking. With Friends. Enjoying Johnny. Normal. :’)
Johnny was amazing. I’ve been to many shows with the main three (Marcus, Bobby, Sam) but oh my word. Johnny’s voice is like honey coated molten chocolate sugar lava. I was turned out. Now don’t go saying it was the beers I had that made me “Mmmm mmmm Johnny!” This man is seriously good. I’ve heard him recorded of course but live….man. I’m just glad I was sitting down at a table. His songs are lovely. His lyrics clear. His voice rich and deep. GAH.
I didn’t stare down Rob and Kristen although they were clearly seen. They laughed when Johnny messed up and chatted up their friends but for the most part, I tried not to propel myself into the audience and mount their shoulders. That would have been awkward.
When the show was over, Rob had Kristen’s hand and led the way to the back into a private room. He was wearing his Bob Marley shirt, black cap, jacket, black pants and the black shoes. He was too sexy for words. Smiling and at ease. Kristen stayed close by his side and had her head down a bit but was smiling. Their posse followed and they waited by the door of their private room until it was unlocked by staff. No one bothered them with pics or anything. There was a guy during the show that attempted a pic. It was weird. You could see the flash go off and it was obviously not towards the stage but it didn’t seem like that disturbed them much. Too dark and too many of their people around.
Show’s over and we cleared out. Except I couldn’t exactly drive yet. *cough* We hung out back and I got to see a couple folks *waves to Darja!* We laughed and debated about Rob’s musician friends since I said I was ready to toss the main three to the curb for some sexy voice Johnny. Clearly I still needed to sober up. I only just met the guy.
My feet were hurting me and my friend, M, suggested we go back inside so I can sit and she could get another beer. She wasn’t in the same state I was. I honestly didn’t think Rob was still in the venue. It had been over an hour since the show ended, there are a couple exits, only people around were a few chill folks just enjoying the recorded music in this smaller, second bar area.
The second bar area. Holy ground. This is when things get pretty kismet. C and I sat down while M went to the bathroom and to buy a drink. Our Patron Saint, Marcus (not Foster), appeared out of no where and asked if we could watch his beer. I teased him and said I’ll shank anyone that tries to touch it. You’ll know why he’s our Patron Saint in a moment.
M came back and we’re all just shooting the breeze while she sips. Patron Saint Marcus returned for his beer and stumbled away. His lady apologized to us but Marcus was harmless. I teased him again and told him we did in fact have to stab someone trying to take his beer and they’re stuffed in a dumpster. I think Marcus half believed that. I wasn’t the only one that needed sobering up.
Time passed and M was almost done with her beer when Patron Saint Marcus sashays back over to us and uses a cute pick up line. “Can I get a harass pass since you guys saved my beer?” He wanted to know the story about the guy in the dumpster. And to see who else had names that started with M. Marcus was strange. But I will forever be happy for his arrival because shortly afterwards, Red Shirt Man that was part of Rob’s posse came from another room and headed to the bar. He was directly in our path because of Marcus. It appeared like he was trying to close the tab.
Marcus continued to try and talk about god only knows what. At one point, he told us he saw Amelia Earhart. She was wearing a bomber jacket. He imitated a kick that looked like a propeller. Sweet Marcus. Red Shirt Man disappeared and came right away with Black Ball Cap Man….aka ROBERT. This is around the time that all air left my lungs. Again, we could see Rob clearly because of where Marcus was standing. Sweet Marcus thought when we spoke to him, we were looking in his eyes but no honey. We were looking over your shoulder at the tall wonder by the bar signing the bill. Yes. Rob was paying the tab. Are we surprised? You shouldn’t be. He’s a giver. :))))))
While Rob was signing and laughing – because that’s what angels do when settling bills, they laugh so the whole room can hear the angel voice over the recorded music playing – the rest of their crew came into the room, including Kristen.
Now………I’m going to try and keep this classy. Even though in my experience, people that partake in PDA don’t seem to mind a couple of stares. In fact, there was discussion about this on the Eclipse commentary:
Rob: Do you ever like watch people kiss in public?
Kristen: Like if I happen to be witness to it, do I sit there and stare at them?
Kristen: Uh to be honest, I’m kind of a starer…
Yup. So am I. Especially when the person kissing in public is Robert Pattinson. Turning away was a physical impossibility since I was frozen solid. Kristen went to stand by Rob’s side by the bar and he turned to put his arm around her and gave her a forehead kiss. A forehead kiss. I like to call Rob the King of Forehead Kisses because I’m sure you all have noticed, this is something he does in practically every movie. All the ladies that play his romantic interest get a forehead kiss. He is King. I used to think this was ActorRob’s move. I did NOT know this was RealRob’s move. Kristen pretty much liquified before our eyes. Ok not literally but damn near. Especially when Rob decided, “You know what? It’s not hot enough in this bar. Let’s set it on f*ckin fire.” And his tall glorious self leaned down, going in for the kill and proceeded to make out with Kristen for at least a minute. At least. Time had no relevance in this holy place.
Patron Saint Marcus. Bless him. He was still doing propeller kicks. He didn’t notice we started to drool and our fake conversation was incoherent. We were laughing a little maniacal and that only spurred him on more. He spun around and started to try and engage Rob’s people in his antics. They even laughed. Marcus was on a roll. Back to the couple that clearly needed a room, they started to mosey closer to their posse near Marcus and us. The smiles were simply blinding. Rob’s laugh was clearer now because he was occupying our ground zero. He said words and Kristen was smiling but I don’t know what those words were. My brain was screaming for survival. They were all just lingering and me, C and M wanted to just be excused. We wanted to live. It was the most intense encounter I’ve ever had because I’ve never seen RealRob with my own eyes be so…so…MAN. You could see Kristen was putty under the weight of MAN. Who wouldn’t be, right? I can’t handle the swoon factor here. I don’t even know how to convey this properly. He just owned everything: “I’m gonna own this bill. I’m gonna own this forehead. I’m gonna own these lips. I’m gonna own your body. I’m gonna own my friends who are following me. I’m gonna own these girls I don’t even know who are hanging out with some strange guy twirling his leg.”
Rob left with his arm draped around Kristen and trailed by their friends. He bestowed one last laugh on us before vanishing in the night. Marcus instantly tired and went back to his girl. It was so strange. It’s like Rob took Marcus’ energy with him. We’re forever grateful to Marcus because without him, we couldn’t have seen the things we saw. We wouldn’t have been in the right angle to witness PDARob. PDAROB! I can’t.
I was very sober at this point. Thank you, Rob, for that as well. You sobered me up REAL quick. We left and I didn’t feel my hurt feet. Again? Who do I thank for allowing me to float to my car? Rob. Always. Along the way to our parking lot, Marcus and his buddies drove by. Sweet Marcus was passed out in the back seat. Resting after being our Patron Saint of PDARob.
I wish I could blink and a film reel starts playing what I saw but that’s impossible no matter how otherworldly I feel. There were no paps and pictures were never an option for us because the best miracles have always been spread through words by those who witnessed. I only hope you have faith to believe.
ALL HAIL PDAROB! KING OF ALL KISSES AND GIVER OF ALL THAT’S GOOD!
*the dark recesses genuflects*